If These Shoes Could Talk

I click on the closet light and yank a sweater off the shelf to pull it over my head. That makes three layers. I lean down to slide my hand along the chilly wood floor, pushing aside wool skirts and cordoroy slacks as I search for my fuzzy slippers. No luck. I do find a colony of dust bunnies and a pair of sandals, however. The shoes must have accidentally been left behind in the Columbus Day transition.

Our Seaplane Adventure - That cute flip-flop and his twin followed us everywhere

Our Seaplane Adventure – That cute flip-flop and his twin followed us everywhere

I glance down at the girly-girl heels in my hands. I miss summer. I bet they do, too. If my sandals could talk, what would they say about our years together? I sit on my bed, hugging them close as ideas float through my head.

We biked through Old Town, Key West and sunned ourselves at South Beach. The sand was quite hot!

We treated ourselves to pedicures. Our favorite color was Powerful Pink, a stunning combination with my metallic blue leather, if I do say so myself.

We attended a July wedding and my comfy soles allowed you to keep up with your Dad and son on the dance floor.

We explored Jefferson Fort at Dry Tortugas National Park and climbed to the top for a breathtaking view of the Atlantic. You appreciated my sturdy heels.

One of many incredible views at Fort Jefferson

One of many incredible views at Fort Jefferson

We splashed through rain puddles (and we didn’t complain) while you played at Universal Islands of Adventure with the family.

We lounged in the backyard with girl friends and you drank strawberry margaritas and listened to island music. Thank you for being careful and not spilling sticky drinks on me.

The margarita reference reminds me of the task I still have to finish, the one I was in the middle of when I became too cold in my den to concentrate. I shake my head and laugh. Yes, I’m caught, guilty as charged–Number One Procrastinator. I have a post to write, and here I am, reminiscing about summer with inanimate objects. I shiver under my three layers of tops. Darn, it’s cold in here. Maybe I’ll grab a blanket out of the linen closet on my way downstairs, make a cup of hot chocolate, and sit by the fireplace while I brainstorm more ideas.

I set my pretty blue flowered sandals on the tippy-top closet shelf. That way they won’t have to fight off the dust bunnies while they wait for summer to return.

If an item of yours could talk, what would it say?

Did You Ever Notice?

If you’re like me, you’d agree stand-up comedy is one of those forms of entertainment where it can be really hysterical or downright uncomfortable. In my home turf here on Long Island, there are some decent comedians on weeknight and occasional weekends out earning a little extra cash or warming up for their bigger gigs in the city. These acts tend to be good to side-splitting great. Then there are those comedians honing their craft, who haven’t quite made it big yet. They are the acts that can go either way. When it goes bad, the audience squirms with embarassment for the comedian. It’s no fun for anyone.

That’s what makes you realize the talent that goes into making a great stand-up show. The timing, the writing about everyday experiences in a unique, funny way, the facial expression, the gestures…the little zingers that make us think.

I can recite the whole “Cake for Breakfast” routine by Bill Cosby and still get a kick out of George Carlin’s “Did you ever notice?” skit. But Bill’s comedic style plays too slow for this post and Carlin’s language isn’t PG enough. So, I surfed YouTube, looking for the perfect stand-up moment to share with you today. After a couple hours of laughing, I realized I was procrastinating. What better stand-up moment to show you than Ellen Degeneres talking about, guess what, procrastinating.

What’s your favorite stand-up routine or comic? Are you a procrastinator? Are you reading this blog instead of working?

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